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She Said: Is it Cool to Date a Deadbeat?
By: livesteez.comPosted On: 07/02/2009 10:56 A
Okay ladies, nowadays meeting a man with no children and no abundance of women, with whom he holds no financial or parental responsibilities, is like finding lost treasure. Lately, we've all had to compromise our standards to keep our love lives alive, because it would be unfair to discriminate against a man with children and the mothers that accompany, right? Maybe he's that guy that cries the blues saying his children's mom keeps him from his seed. Should you take it as truth, or investigate? What if he's not handling his fatherly business, where does is the line drawn? If he's not active in the child's / children's lives, do you continue to consume his time? If he sees or talks to his girl more than he sees and talks to his children, what does that say about him and further more her? Does this mean you're enabling him to continue on with is deadbeat behavior? And does that mean the girlfriend is a part of the reason why he doesn't see or speak to his kids with consistency? We'd like to know. Fellas, hold tight, we'll pose the same question about deadbeat moms tomorrow in the "He Said" post.
LiveSteez asked a group of women: Ladies, is it cool to date a deadbeat father?
If he don't take care of his blood, he ain't taking care of me or my kids if we should have one together you know? I have a problem with men who aren't in the same state as their kids, it just shows a lack of commitment on his part and if he's not committed to his kids, then our commitment is fraudulent. I wouldn't put myself in that position. He needs to be with his kids, they need him more than I do. - Marcia, 29, Hair Stylist
Hell no. I'm a single mom and my ex-husband stays with a new chick. He'll come pick them up with his jump-off, they play family together and he drops my kids off (when he does show up) feeling hurt and confused. He truly doesn't understand the impression that leaves on my daughter, in particular, it's so hard on them. If a man is not taking care of his seeds but has an active dating life then his priorities are fucked up and he's not putting his kids first, like women do all the time. I feel that women who date deadbeats are enablers and desperate. -Deniese, 34, Real Estate Agent
No. Absolutely not, that's unacceptable. If he's a deadbeat, then I have no respect for him and if I don't don't respect him I'm not dating him. It's not necessarily just a man thing, it goes both ways, some women are dead beats and chances are they probably date each other. Ummm, they can be deadbeats together? Losers. -Stacy, 25, Make-Up Artist
Hell naw, I wouldn't date a deadbeat father. A man that doesn't take care of his responsibilities surely won't be able to take care of me. I am singe and want children someday, so what kind of message does his non-existent relationship with his child speak to me as an anticipant mother? It shows a lack of judgement and should be a sign to some of these silly women who just want a man regardless of how messed up he may be. If he'll forsake his own seed, he won't have any problem dropping me. - Trina, 27, Financial Analyst
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